Bloomington Worldwide Friendship, Inc.

Coming to a new country can be a strange and wonderful adventure. Now that you have arrived in Bloomington, you may be asking, “What does this custom mean? How can I understand American culture?”

The best thing to do is always feel free to ask questions when you don’t understand.

Meeting and Greeting

How do I greet someone?

Shaking hands is the most common way to introduce yourself when you meet someone. It is customary for the person who initiated the handshake (reached out first) to say something like, “Hello, I’m Joe Jones,” To which you reply by stating your own name in the same fashion.

If it is a more casual setting they may say something like, “Hi, I’m Joe.” Hugging is generally unacceptable for a first meeting and is only done between close friends or family. Kissing is an extremely personal act in American culture and is generally avoided even among friends.

Carrying on Conversation

Although Americans are known for their honest and outspoken manner, most are polite. Many people you meet may openly share their views on life, family, religion, and politics, but they also respect another person’s desire for privacy.

A good sense of humor is important to Americans. Laughing at themselves or their country is something they do very well. But they may not appreciate someone from another country doing the same, especially in a critical tone.

Americans talk openly about many topics and are not easily embarrassed. Yet there are a few taboos even in American conversation. Asking how much money a person earns is one of them, as is asking a married couple why they have no children. Very personal questions about age, weight, personal habits, or previous marriages are also impolite. But if Americans choose to bring up these topics, you may assume they are willing to discuss them

How do I answer the telephone or leave a message?

In America, most people answer the phone by saying, “Hello?” You would then identify yourself and politely ask for whom you are calling. For example, you could say, “Hello, this is –––––, is Mary Smith there?” Sometimes, if a person is not available when you call, an answering machine or voice mailbox will answer.

It is appropriate to leave your name, number and a brief message detailing why you called. An example would be, “Hello, this is –––––, I was calling with a question about dinner tomorrow night. Please call me back at 812-555-0000. Thanks.”

Saying Thank You

In America, our manner of thanking someone may seem informal. A simple “Thank you very much” is appropriate for most favors. If it is something simple, like someone held a door for you, you can just say “Thanks.” Americans are often embarrassed or uncomfortable with overly formal or extensive thank-yous. When you are uncertain, simplicity is the best policy.

Social Events

Someone has invited me to their house for dinner, what should I do?

First, relax! The person who invited you is aware that you are from another country and will be understanding of your unfamiliarity with various situations. View this as an opportunity to share cultures, as they are likely just as curious about your life and experiences as you are about theirs.

When you are invited, you do not have to accept. If you have a test, other obligation, or simply need some time to yourself, it is not offensive for you to politely refuse. Simply say something like, “I’m sorry, I can’t make it.” Propose another time for you to get together with the people who invited you, or simply ask them to let you know the next time they are willing to have you over.

If you are able to attend, know that you do not have to bring a gift. While gifts are always welcome, those who invited you did so without the expectation of anything in return except your company.

Do be sure to arrive on time, or let them know if you are going to be late. It is not customary to remove your shoes when you enter, but some people may ask you to do so.

It is customary for hosts to offer things once; it is ok if you refuse it politely, or to accept if you would like to try something. Your host will not be offended. If you would like to have more of a particular food or drink, it is fine to just ask “may I please have more…”.

If at any point you are offended, please keep in mind that your hosts are most likely unaware of causing you offense. It would be perfectly acceptable for you to politely inform them of their mistake and offer to educate them about the customs in your country.

Your host will likely welcome the opportunity to learn something new as well as avoid insult to someone else in the future.

When you decide you would like to go home, thank your hosts for their hospitality and tell them how much you enjoyed your time with them. It is ok to ask them for help in getting home, whether that is using their phone to call a taxi, asking for directions home or to the nearest bus stop. If they picked you up, it is customary that they will offer you a ride home.

What should I do if we go to a restaurant?

In most American restaurants, guests sit down and a server will come to take your order for food and drinks and bring them to your table. The bill for your order will generally be brought at the end of your meal. The bill may be paid most commonly using cash, credit card or debit card. Checks are rarely accepted in most restaurants.

A “tip” is commonly left for the server and is generally anywhere between 15% and 20% of the bill, depending on your satisfaction with their service and your budget. This is important to include in your bill as “tips” are often the majority of the pay received by the server.

How do I order alcohol?

If you would like to order alcohol, beer and wine are available at most restaurants. Their selections are often printed on the menu or are on a smaller menu or booklet on the table.

The legal age to drink in America is 21, and most places require proof of your age, so have a picture ID, such as a state ID card, driver’s license or passport with you if you plan on ordering alcohol.

It is also a good idea to have another form of ID, such as your credit card, with you as many places in Bloomington require two forms of ID.

If you go to a pub, bar or club, it will depend on the policy of the establishment whether a server will take your order or if it is necessary for you to order from the bar. Here again it is customary to leave a 15% to 20% tip.

What do I do if I smoke?

Smoking is becoming less socially appropriate in the United States than in other countries. Bloomington is smoke-free in most public buildings, which means that you are not allowed, for example, to smoke inside any restaurant within town limits. It is common courtesy to ask those around you if it is alright for you to smoke.

The legal age for buying tobacco is 18 in the United States, so be prepared to be asked for identification and follow the same policy as with alcohol.